Making Sense of Extreme Tragedies
How does one deal with the sense of emptiness that inevitably follows the untimely loss of a loved one? What possible comfort can one draw from such loss? How can God, in His professed pure love for humanity and all else He has created, justify allowing such tragedies to occur? These are questions that many ask and struggle with when they are faced with the pain of sudden loss.
Often this pain is felt by each family (or friends') circle at a time as their loved one falls victim to a fatal road accident, an unexpected heart attack, a freak mishap in the course of daily life. Also all to often, the tragedy is inflicted by other human beings on an innocent and unsuspecting victim. Sometimes the tragedy is inflicted by uncaring government leaders through their incompetent social policies that leave many children vulnerable to preventable and treatable predator diseases. And, as has been experienced time and time again, the sudden, tragic loss is caused by a phenomenon of nature such as the Indian Ocean Tsunamis.
Regardless of one's chosen spiritual orientation (or absence thereof) the grieving process inevitably boils down to asking The Creator why He has "allowed" such an event to happen. A difficult question to grapple with. Its difficulty derives partly from our looking for a complicated explanation, or, at least, one that easily fits into our own particular "cultural" conventions. Pursuing a simple, and more universal explanation might, therefore, prove to be more fruitful.
It may help that we, as people of faith, look at our being as composed of two realms, a physical and a spiritual. Recall the narration of the crucifixion, the barbaric slaying of a man of "pure" soul. Here was a person who had not harmed another soul, who's very existence was dedicated to alleviating the pain and misery in other persons lives. Yet, He was persecuted mercilessly, subjected to unspeakable acts, and , remarkably, He faced His fate willingly and unflinchingly. Why? What simple 'reality 'did He know that many of us either forget too easily or have not yet internalized?
History, indeed each culture, is replete with examples of pure souls, enlightened beings withstanding such horrors and loss with inspiring "peace of God in their minds". Why? What simple 'reality' did they know that we would do well to also embrace?
As a young teenager I got a foretaste of this simplicity, and while not professing to be a pure soul (far from it, if truth be told :-), I had gone with my siblings to visit a parent who had been labeled a dissident and thrown into the political detention cells of the dictatorship that ravaged the people of my land of birth. Despite the senselessness of his detention, and despite the obvious tortures (including psychological torment) that he was being subjected to, he reassured us, with a warming calmness, with words I have effectively worn as my armor ever since: "My dear children, no matter what they may do to you, they can NEVER, EVER touch your soul"!
My dear children, no matter what they may do to you, they can NEVER, EVER touch your soul.
I have asked myself since that, if that could have been the simple 'reality', the simple secret that had comforted our friend JC as he was being forced to carry His own cross, being abused and assaulted by rocks and spit and verbiage and other garbage. As he was being nailed to the cross was he reassured by the knowledge that although they were inflicting physical pain merely on His flesh and could not touch His soul. When Ghandi and Martin Luther King and Socrates and Mandela and Copernicus and others were standing up for what they knew to be right, despite knowing the harsh consequences that would be visited upon them, were they too aware that "no matter what the oppressors may do to them, their souls were 'untouchable'?
Isn't it then reasonable to assume that when we, within our own cultures, ask God why He has allowed such tragedy to befall us or our loved ones, we fail to hear His reassurance that He is the custodian of our souls, that no one can ever touch our souls? Do we fail to embrace this response because we unwittingly (though innocently) fail to differentiate between values of 'body' and values of 'soul'?
How then, even if we accept this, can we heal from the wounds of bereavement? How can we deal with the enourmous emptiness and pain from, say, the devastating Indian Ocean Tsunami or the senseless Dafur Genocide, or that in the Balkans, and an d and....?
As I share your pain from these tragedies, I gain I recall a profound moment about a decade ago. I am reminded of a powerful sermon I heard from a young (early thirties) pastor, in a small village at a wake for my paternal grandmother. My father had always been close to her and, while my father was in political detention (where he spent 12 1/2 years), my grandmother grew frail and weak. True story. Then, by God's grace, my dad was released in July 1992 and reunited with his ailing mother. Then on my father's first birthday out of detention, my grandmother died.
My father was devastated!
Fast forward two years...
We were sitting outside the village house , under the trees as the young preacher coughed us into reverent silence. The wake ceremony was about to begin. The pastor started singing "Happy Birthday to you...." and everyone stared (some glared) at him, wondering how he could sing happy Birthday to my father when this was to mark the anniversary of my grandmother's passing. Then..."Happy Birthday dear [he inserted my grandmother's name], Happy birthday to you". There was silence everywhere, except for the birds, the winds rustling among the trees (I guess nature found this to be a very natural occurrence and twist).
The pastor then gently reminded everyone that this was my grandmother's 2nd "birthday" anniversary, in God's eternal Kingdom. He consoled the family that, as a young two year old, imagine how much extra special care she was receiving, directly, by God's own angels, now and for forever 'physically' visible to her. He assured us all that there was no way in which she would, at this point, wish to leave the glorious environment she was in, and that we should celebrate not only her life here on earth, but also her new life in an even better place where she could live even more fulfillingly than she could have ever imagined possible.
Even if our faith orientation does not contemplate a divined afterlife, but rather in re-incarnation, our consoling thought within the same context, is that if we believe that our departed loved one was indeed a good soul, a person who either tried to live a good life for the good of others or , being yet still so young, they were still "pure of soul", then their soul is, again, in a better 'life' than this one we currently experience.
Impetus also for us to re-examine whether we, in the here and now, live with passion, a good life for the good of others.
"No matter what they [or nature] may do to you [or your loved one], they can NEVER, EVER touch your soul."
The journey of searching for wisdom has barely begun...
Often this pain is felt by each family (or friends') circle at a time as their loved one falls victim to a fatal road accident, an unexpected heart attack, a freak mishap in the course of daily life. Also all to often, the tragedy is inflicted by other human beings on an innocent and unsuspecting victim. Sometimes the tragedy is inflicted by uncaring government leaders through their incompetent social policies that leave many children vulnerable to preventable and treatable predator diseases. And, as has been experienced time and time again, the sudden, tragic loss is caused by a phenomenon of nature such as the Indian Ocean Tsunamis.
Regardless of one's chosen spiritual orientation (or absence thereof) the grieving process inevitably boils down to asking The Creator why He has "allowed" such an event to happen. A difficult question to grapple with. Its difficulty derives partly from our looking for a complicated explanation, or, at least, one that easily fits into our own particular "cultural" conventions. Pursuing a simple, and more universal explanation might, therefore, prove to be more fruitful.
It may help that we, as people of faith, look at our being as composed of two realms, a physical and a spiritual. Recall the narration of the crucifixion, the barbaric slaying of a man of "pure" soul. Here was a person who had not harmed another soul, who's very existence was dedicated to alleviating the pain and misery in other persons lives. Yet, He was persecuted mercilessly, subjected to unspeakable acts, and , remarkably, He faced His fate willingly and unflinchingly. Why? What simple 'reality 'did He know that many of us either forget too easily or have not yet internalized?
History, indeed each culture, is replete with examples of pure souls, enlightened beings withstanding such horrors and loss with inspiring "peace of God in their minds". Why? What simple 'reality' did they know that we would do well to also embrace?
As a young teenager I got a foretaste of this simplicity, and while not professing to be a pure soul (far from it, if truth be told :-), I had gone with my siblings to visit a parent who had been labeled a dissident and thrown into the political detention cells of the dictatorship that ravaged the people of my land of birth. Despite the senselessness of his detention, and despite the obvious tortures (including psychological torment) that he was being subjected to, he reassured us, with a warming calmness, with words I have effectively worn as my armor ever since: "My dear children, no matter what they may do to you, they can NEVER, EVER touch your soul"!
My dear children, no matter what they may do to you, they can NEVER, EVER touch your soul.
I have asked myself since that, if that could have been the simple 'reality', the simple secret that had comforted our friend JC as he was being forced to carry His own cross, being abused and assaulted by rocks and spit and verbiage and other garbage. As he was being nailed to the cross was he reassured by the knowledge that although they were inflicting physical pain merely on His flesh and could not touch His soul. When Ghandi and Martin Luther King and Socrates and Mandela and Copernicus and others were standing up for what they knew to be right, despite knowing the harsh consequences that would be visited upon them, were they too aware that "no matter what the oppressors may do to them, their souls were 'untouchable'?
Isn't it then reasonable to assume that when we, within our own cultures, ask God why He has allowed such tragedy to befall us or our loved ones, we fail to hear His reassurance that He is the custodian of our souls, that no one can ever touch our souls? Do we fail to embrace this response because we unwittingly (though innocently) fail to differentiate between values of 'body' and values of 'soul'?
How then, even if we accept this, can we heal from the wounds of bereavement? How can we deal with the enourmous emptiness and pain from, say, the devastating Indian Ocean Tsunami or the senseless Dafur Genocide, or that in the Balkans, and an d and....?
As I share your pain from these tragedies, I gain I recall a profound moment about a decade ago. I am reminded of a powerful sermon I heard from a young (early thirties) pastor, in a small village at a wake for my paternal grandmother. My father had always been close to her and, while my father was in political detention (where he spent 12 1/2 years), my grandmother grew frail and weak. True story. Then, by God's grace, my dad was released in July 1992 and reunited with his ailing mother. Then on my father's first birthday out of detention, my grandmother died.
My father was devastated!
Fast forward two years...
We were sitting outside the village house , under the trees as the young preacher coughed us into reverent silence. The wake ceremony was about to begin. The pastor started singing "Happy Birthday to you...." and everyone stared (some glared) at him, wondering how he could sing happy Birthday to my father when this was to mark the anniversary of my grandmother's passing. Then..."Happy Birthday dear [he inserted my grandmother's name], Happy birthday to you". There was silence everywhere, except for the birds, the winds rustling among the trees (I guess nature found this to be a very natural occurrence and twist).
The pastor then gently reminded everyone that this was my grandmother's 2nd "birthday" anniversary, in God's eternal Kingdom. He consoled the family that, as a young two year old, imagine how much extra special care she was receiving, directly, by God's own angels, now and for forever 'physically' visible to her. He assured us all that there was no way in which she would, at this point, wish to leave the glorious environment she was in, and that we should celebrate not only her life here on earth, but also her new life in an even better place where she could live even more fulfillingly than she could have ever imagined possible.
Even if our faith orientation does not contemplate a divined afterlife, but rather in re-incarnation, our consoling thought within the same context, is that if we believe that our departed loved one was indeed a good soul, a person who either tried to live a good life for the good of others or , being yet still so young, they were still "pure of soul", then their soul is, again, in a better 'life' than this one we currently experience.
Impetus also for us to re-examine whether we, in the here and now, live with passion, a good life for the good of others.
"No matter what they [or nature] may do to you [or your loved one], they can NEVER, EVER touch your soul."
The journey of searching for wisdom has barely begun...
posted by wisdomworld at 11:05 PM
3 Comments:
But how can you explain this to someone who does not believe in the existence of a God?
BM, USA
You just have to believe in something or someone, no matter what that'll mean. I think that HOPE in general means believing in something and that she may be enough to understand. Most people have hope and some do even believe in their dreams. Isn't that enough?
N.K., Germany
Isn't it enough...? It's a good question.
B.
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